Hello there, so here is my first blog post for the Hertfordshire Celebrant website. I was thinking today how incredibly privileged I am, to be invited into the homes and hearts of people who are at their most vulnerable.
Lets be honest, when you are grieving, maybe angry, shocked and/or broken hearted the last person you probably want to have to encounter is a stranger?
Well, I have to say that despite this, the most difficult of circumstances, I have not encountered anything but absolute graciousness, warmth and human kindness. People WANT to tell you about their loved person, they want to share their love, they want to piece back together the broken feelings that are making no sense, and talking about it really does help. And people are very, very different in their response to grief, so if you are supporting someone, don't be surprised if your friend, family member or work colleague does not behave as you imagined. Be unshockable and just ride with their presentation as you would float upon a lido, on a sea with your eyes closed.... without expectation and ready to re-balance the equilibrium, with consistently just being there. Let those waters rage, whirl, splash, rock and ebb gently towards calm and float with them, it is likely to be turbulent and it will reach a plateau ..
If you are wondering whether celebrancy and particularly funeral celebrancy is 'just a job', the simple answer is NO WAY, for starters the majority of us are perfectionists, control freaks, obsessive workaholics who are compelled to help people faced with the most challenging times of their life-grief & loss. We want to help and want to do the very best job, and I can assure you that there is no way that you could (successfully) work as a celebrant IF it was 'just a job'...
you will work many more hours than you get paid for, write and rewrite services and tributes until they meet your exacting standards...you will not be happy until your family is happy... TBC